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When Buyers Can’t Agree on What Home to Buy

Many home-buyers get exasperated when they can’t agree on a home purchase. Some buyer’s become angry, others will use the  the silent treatment, and some withdraw from the process.  But there is hope…even for people with widely divergent views.  Here are some steps you can take to improve your chances of agreeing on a home:

  1. Engage an agent who is thoroughly acquainted with the area.  Experienced agents like Robert and Jani can often locate a compromise property that will satisfy the key preferences of both parties.
  2. Define your preferences and set priorities.  Each person should make a “wants and needs list”,  in order of preference and provide this list to your agent.  Understand, that if you get 75% of what is on your list you are doing great! It is rare to get 100% of everything you want.
  3. Go on an “Exploration Tour”.  Sometimes it is difficult to find the words to describe what you are looking for.  You may need to see an array of possibilities, so that your preferences reveal themselves.  For this reason, Robert and Jani will often start your home search by showing you a wide variety of neighborhoods, floor plans, and architectural styles.  Your verbal and non-verbal reactions will reveal your true preferences.
  4. Try to look at homes together, rather than separately.  Several years ago, Robert and Jani were showing homes to a recently married executive who was transferring to Colorado.  The executive found a contemporary home that he fell in love with.  But, when his bride flew in to finalize the purchase decision, she did not like the home.  She had been dreaming of living in a much more traditional home.  So, all the time he had spent looking at homes turned out to be a waste of time and they had to start all over again. Both parties were frustrated.
  5. Don’t put the selection of a home ahead of your relationship.  Trying to force your partner to accept a home he or she doesn’t like can jeopardize your relationship.  On the other hand, a compromise can strengthen your relationship.  A fair compromise will help both of you feel that your needs have been recognized and respected.